so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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