mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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