I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
