i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
