Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize