I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He shit in the fireplace
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
