I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
