**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize