I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
