I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Randomize
