Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
