We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
