So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
this boner is exhausting
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
