i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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