somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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