Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize