the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
