what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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