I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
