They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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