what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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