If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
