Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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