I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
