I'd wear matching sweaters with you
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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