I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
