using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'm both gender and math confused
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize