Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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