i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize