guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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