Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
im six kinds of drunk right now
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
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