what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
