Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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