so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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