Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
