Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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