i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Enjoy the penises
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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