The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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