I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
