He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
