true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
