yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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