What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize