Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize