I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize