He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
