I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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