Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
