so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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