Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
