this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
