i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
