He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
