Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
