The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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