This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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