David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
