I accidentally burped into my bong.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
