I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
