Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I need a beard to bite.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
