i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize