there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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