Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
