why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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