...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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