I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
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